I
married my husband!
This
means that I also married his family!
What does this mean?
To me this means that while I don’t have to love
them as much as I love him, I should try to love them
as much as I love my family. I think the reason this can be so difficult is
because of the time we have spent with or own family and haven’t spent with
them makes us feel more connected to our own. Like if I spend Christmas with my
in-laws instead of at my own mother’s home then I am somehow letting them down
and dishonoring them. Because I have spent more time with my family I don’t want
to disappoint them. But I don’t want to disappoint my in-laws either?!!?
“Therefore
shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:
and they shall be one flesh”
-
-Genesis 2:24
Not only should a
husband cleave unto his wife, but a wife should cleave unto her husband. Their separate
immediate families are still important, but each other’s families should be as
important as the other. Because their family is each other and it connects you
to each other’s in-laws.
James M. Harper and
Susanne Frost Olsen give some great advice on the topic;
“When you married, you also became part of another
family with its own set of expectations. You need to recognize and respect
those—within limits.
What are those limits? Here are three things that
"honoring" your in-laws does not mean:
•
It doesn't require that you
submerge all your own feelings, desires, preferences, and needs in the service
of "doing things their way."
•
It doesn't mean you must permit
them to disrespect, control, or manipulate you for their own selfish ends.
•
It doesn't entail
"obeying" all their "parental" requests or
requirements—which, in some instances with some in-laws, may get pretty crazy.”
Be sure to love everyone! Remember what is important
and open your heart to your family!
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